I am a big man, yes I am, and I've got a Big Gun

I am currently working a temp job roofing a large building. The company I'm temped to is based in a city two-hours away, so the bulk of the crew, who aren't temps, commute over here for the week then go home on weekends. They are all pretty good fellows, for the most part, as are the other three temps working with me. The one thing that separates me from them--well the one of many that I will mention here--they are all avid hunters and gun freaks. Indeed, much of the "water cooler" talk is about different guns, scopes, animals to kill and the like. I've run into this sort of thing before having worked long in the testosterone-ridden construction industry. I grew up in southern Utah (lovingly remembered as planet Utahrd) surrounded by right wing gun freaks so I have shot my share of guns as a youth. But, I'm not so big on it now. Never really was, actually.

I am mildly surprised to find men like that here in the more liberal pacific northwest, but I guess I shouldn't be. There's rednecks and assholes everywhere. I go along with them quietly through these conversations, nodding at the right time and oohing appropriately when they tell me of a new expensive gun or how many birds they shot at coming over the pass on the way to work. I do this so they don't take it into their heads that I'm a pansy and throw me over the roof again. Then I try to turn the conversation, gently, to what I consider more manly pursuits, like beer or crude humor.

I don't consider myself less of a man because I don't feel the need to have huge firepower and kill animals. If I need to kill something, I have a short list of humans whom I feel deserve an end to making me miserable. Well, it's short relative to the population of the earth. And I usually find release in thinking happy thoughts of them humiliated in various ways rather than acting on a need to kill. Usually.

I read recently a post by some bastard about men and their need for big trucks, and this obsession with guns is closely linked to that, I believe. Not only do they need the big trucks to haul their huge manhood, they need weapons to defend themselves against jealous, lesser men. It's really kind of funny in a sad, pathetic way.

If I've offended your manhood with this post, it's ok to print it out and use it for target practice then beat your wife. That should make any manly man feel better. For the rest of you, keep the faith and hope that these men will soon discover the little girl inside them as the rest of us have done.